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Who
told you, you could not do it? by Maria Carolina Cruz Are you one of those guys who as a little child won all the painting, singing, dancing, sports,
poetry or drama contests? Perhaps you even won more than one price in more than one category, yet today, so many years later,
you wonder why you are so handicapped at those things you were so brilliant as a child. Let me give you an example. When I was 7, I loved drawing landscapes: mountains, the sun rising
with its happy face in the middle of the mountains, the clouds smiling in the sky, a big lake full of ducks, an apple tree,
a house with a chimney and a garden with tulips. Most importantly, there had to be colour, so each cloud was a different shade
of blue, each ray from the sun was a different yellow while the flowers of the garden were my real chance to experiment with
colour. My paintings always won many prices. I did not feel that I was born to be a painter; I just enjoyed painting, using
colour and being me. Until one day, I had to draw a baby
taking a shower. What ridiculous assignment required that I draw a baby taking a shower? I don't recall it at all, but what
I do remember is my teacher calling me a few days later during recess. "Maria Carolina,what's this? It looks like a little
monster! Let me show you how to do it." She then painted the cutest baby, happily showering while still wearing his dipers.
Not only she painted a perfect baby, she erased my painting, and then she painted her own on top of my erased "little
monster". Yes, I admit my painting did not look like Baby Gerber, but it was not a little monster. It was just that I
was good at painting landscapes and not necessarily at portraits. The landscapes became less and less common. I stopped wining contests. The boys and girls who could draw human beings
instead of mountains and trees became the more favourite. It never bothered me. It handicapped me, however, without notice,
until I physically struggled to draw anything that was not a mountain and a lake. I even failed drawing at School and even
at University, I was the worst of my class in Technical Drawing (nothing to do with painting apple trees and clouds, but still
I should have at least been able to hold the pencil properly!) Last Christmas, I read a book about ideas. The author writes that we can all accomplish whatever we set up to do.
He uses the example of drawing. He asks you to take any object and examine it carefully. Observe it in detail. Look at its
shape, colour, dimensions and material. Look at it from many different angles; observe the way that its components relate
to one another. Pay attention to it; somehow become the object. Then draw it. You will be amazed at the results. I am a writer and I invest a big deal of time and money finding and
hiring the illustrators for my books. I thought, wouldn't it be nice to be my own illustrator and be able to draw whatever
is on my mind and put it on paper just as I imagined it during my writing? I then took one of my teddy bears, Aurora. I looked at her, I placed her on a table in many different angles, I took
time to observe her. Then, I took a big sketch album and did something for the first time in more than 25 years. I actually
painted her. When I was finished, she looked in the paper like my real Aurora, she did not look extraterrestrial or like an
elephant. She looked like my real teddy bear and not only was I able to paint her, just as she is, but also to colour my paper
with all the ideas that I wanted to express. I could have not asked an illustrator to do this better because what I drew came
from my heart. We all have similar stories. The sports
champion at School, who is now overweight and incapable of running 100 yards. The greatest ballet dancer who wishes she could
now dance some hip-hop, but she is too embarrassed and inflexible to try. The guitar player who secretly believes that hadn't
he stopped training, he would have been even better than Richie Sambora. Cindy Lauper had a great word on one of her songs: Insecurious. Right now, when you become conscious of the nature of your boundaries that made you insecure, you can replace the
feeling of insecurity with the feeling of curiosity, the curiosity of what would it be like to cross the boundaries. Allow yourself to be insecurious. You will be surprised as to how much
talent is dormant within you. Wake up the real you and just do whatever it is you want to do. Your inner child knows the way. . Everyone knows everybody, but do they? by Maria Carolina Cruz When I was growing up, these were some of the answers given to my parents when they approached their friends or acquaintances
looking for help: "If you would have only told me last week, I would have tried
to help you." "If only my friend the Senator would have not died, he would have
surely lent you a hand, but now that he is gone...," "I will try to ask my millionaire
sister in law to help you, but she is so busy nowadays, I will try to give her a call but I will be lucky if she answers the
phone." Or, "My best friend, the President of the United Nations, surely would like
to hear about your idea, I will try to give him a call and I will try to speak to him about it." Of course, there were other innocent excuses, such as: "We
run out of coffee cream ten minutes before you arrived!" "All our money is currently
invested in a large project overseas, so we don't have any cash to give to your charity." Or my most favourite on the
list, "I have a cousin who is a famous singer, business woman, fashion model, president
of a company; I will try to ask her if she can help." Have you noticed the number
of times that people use the word "try" in their conversations and how many people just seem to have the perfect
cousin? Growing up, I always found very credible the stories of my parent's friends. Every
now and then, I could hear the same type of excuses creeping in the conversation with my childhood friends. I became more
aware of it as a teenager, and finally, on my last year at University, I realised that there was nothing innocent about
being unable to say NO and fabricate stories to compensate for your lack of resources, time and energy to help someone. I learnt my real lesson, however, many years later at my workplace. I wanted to move to a job in Government Relations. I came from an engineering background so the transition was not
easy. I travelled to London where I met a fine person that offered me a six-month trial position to see if I liked it. I did
not accept immediately because I still had to discuss this with my boss for his final approval. A
few days later, I received approval to move to the trial job in London. I called the fine person to give him the good news.
He, however, provided the best excuse ever in the repertoire of excuses. "We are having some "sudden" re-organisation
in my department, and unfortunately we won't be able to bring you on board this time." I
told the story to someone with experience and influence whom I trusted. "Next time that someone offers you something
that good," he said, "take it immediately and move the issue forward; notice their reaction and see how committed
they really are and if they are serious or just bluffing. Many times people will tell you things to impress you or to give
you hope; they may think that you are not going to go through with your idea anyway, but they will offer the help because
they assume you will not take it. They may be simply too embarrassed to tell you NO to your face." This was without a doubt one of the greatest lessons I ever received. In my new career
as a writer, I meet many people who approach me and tell me things like: "I think my
best friend who is the most important woman in the United Nations who happens to be in Paris would like to know more about
you; would you like me to try to call her and try to talk to her about your books?" or, "My cousin is a very important editor, would you like me to try to give him a call one day and ask him to read
your manuscript?" Notice again, how some people just love to use the word "try"
for something that they will never do but want to give you the idea that they will help you. Notice also the use of the word
"cousin". I think many people just love to show off. So using the advice of my trusted
friend, my first reply was: "I would love to talk to your very important friend in the
United Nations. I am sending you right now a media pack that I put together for these types of occasions; it will help your
friend to know more about my books and me. I will travel to Paris to meet her, just tell me when and where" Or, "My God! Let me send you right now my manuscript. Please send it to your cousin and let me
know what he thinks." Curiously enough, none of the two friends ever called again. However,
this time I knew that they were bluffing. I knew it, because when I took on their offer, their reaction was one of disbelief;
it was almost as if they became suddenly conscious of their lie. If they really wanted to help, they would have at least written
back to say that despite their efforts, they could not do it. (Please also notice that
if the help was unsolicited, one more reason to at least report on the outcome of a favour offered to you.) This is why I also took the decision to create my own publishing Company to materialise my own ideas and move forward
without relying on false promises. The lesson here is that many times you trust all your cards
in people who do not really want to help you but to impress you. In one way, it is their way to feel more secure in your presence.
If you are asking for help, it is because you need the help, not all the paraphernalia around influence and power that some
people just want to give you in an attempt to feel greater than you. If you have not asked
for help, and yet someone offers you a "show off" gratuity, then do not beat yourself up for being suspicious. Be also aware when someone comes to you and offers help using the word "try" too much.
They will indeed go back home and debate whether to call their real or fictitious powerful person who can help you. They will
really "try" to pick up the phone but they will not do it. They will tell you that they tried to help you and they
will not be lying. They tried; they just did not do it. It happens everywhere, in your
work place, church, health club, pub, with family and friends. Everybody knows somebody who can help you in times of need.
Many of them will not move a finger to make it happen, yet they will tell you that they will try to help. Fewer of us will
actually make it happen. Cherish those ones who are sincere and be aware of the "show offs" that love the verb to
try. After all, if they really had so many friends in so many powerful places, why haven't they done something better for
themselves? Do
career parents make bad parents? Have your say. by Maria Carolina
Cruz In the streets of London, you could see
a billboard that read: "Career women make bad mothers. Have your say." After a few weeks, the furious reaction of
thousands of mothers across the UK, forced the removal of the message from 4,000 billboards around the country. It
was impossible to see the advert and not be engaged in a discussion. I was walking with my husband when I read the question
in the billboard and the first thing that came to my mind was, "why don't they ask if working men make bad fathers?"
My husband answered that it was probably because of the traditional assumption that the father is the main career person and
provider in the family, and that the parenting role relies on the mother. I am not a yet a mother, so I really
do not know what type of mother I would be. However, I have my own mother as an example, a mother who left her job to raise
my brother and me. Of course, my father who was a career man also played a very important role in our lives. It was my mother
however, who was there to drop us in the school bus and to pick us up every day for the long walk back home. She had a warm
soup for us on cold days or an ice cream on sunny days. She was the one who was by our side until we finished homework and
who helped us with the theatre plays and the recitals. The School called her when we were sick, when we were slacking off
or in trouble. Her work was with us, and oh... we were a lot of work. Because my father had a full time job,
I still wonder who would have taken the place of my mother if she had also worked outside of home. I get a knot in
my throat just by typing these words because my mother sacrificed her career life for us (which was also a big chunk of her
life itself), and I am incredibly grateful that she did. For many years, I believed that it was possible to be a successful
career woman and the mother of emotionally and physically healthy kids. However, when I started to see the guilty faces of
women rushing to drop off their child at the nursery on their way to work, I started to wonder if it was possible to have
a successful career wondering if the hands of another woman were taking good care of your little one. Of course, sooner or
later children have to go to school, but why sooner than later. It was not about being a good or a bad mother; it
was more about her child having or not a happy, loving and healthy childhood. If we were going to ask men to stay
home and give up their careers for their children, while their partners and wives went out to have a successful career, how
many of those men would actually do so. If women have access to abundant money and resources without the need to work
outside of home every day, how many women would stay in their careers? Would it make men better fathers? Would it make women better mothers? Have your say. When
heaven answers our orisons but stress takes them away. Dedicated to Christian Louboutin. by Maria Carolina Cruz One
of the greatest inspirations in my life and my career has been Christian Louboutin, the god of shoe design. His famous red
soles had inspired the branding of my Company, my books and of my person. When I discuss how I want my books to look like,
and I start deviating from the brand, my friends tell me, "this is your red sole," meaning that it is my brand and
I should not change it. One of my first articles, "I trade you my 999 Louboutins for your 9.99 glitter slippers,"
was a true story written to reflect the sort of things that we do in times of difficulty and confusion. Using the name of
Louboutin in my article was very important to me and to the message that I wanted to convey. I received an invitation to
attend a big branding conference in Istanbul where Christian Louboutin was going to be a guest speaker. I planned it so many
months in advance. I even rehearsed what I would tell him, in French, in the miraculous event that I met him and could talk
to him. The morning of the big day, I became very stressed dealing with a team of attorneys. I was not happy about the way
that things were going on, and as I was getting ready to go to the conference, a phone call from one of them delayed my journey.
I could not believe the attorneys wanted to discuss their non-sense at that specific time, and I felt very upset that I was
allowing the discussion to ruin such a big day. I arrived two hours later for the conference, but still half an hour before
the big presentation of Christian Louboutin. The heated discussion with the Attorneys left me exhausted and off balance. How
more annoying could it get? I crossed the Bosphorus on my way to the conference and I forgot about the beautiful views from
the Ferry and my great day ahead because I still had the conversation from earlier in the morning in my mind. I also took
the wrong Ferry, which delayed me even more from arriving on time. By the time that I made it to the conference,
everybody was on a coffee break. I made my way to the conference room; it was empty since everyone was outside. I stood in
silence, waiting to catch up my breath when I notice someone standing just by me...it was Christian Louboutin! He was literally
by my side and there was nobody else but the two of us on that incredibly short moment of time. I did my best to muster my
courage, and I approached Christian Louboutin to meet him, just as I did in my mind so many times. The only thing that I could
get out of my mouth was "Monsieur Louboutin, can I take a picture of you?" He smiled at me, he let me take a picture
of him, my hands were shaking and my head was paralyzed. So much for all the rehearsals in French for the time I would meet
him. I could not gather my thoughts; I wanted to tell him so much how much I admired him and how much of a role model he was
to my life and my business. However, I could not. The anger that I felt in the morning took my focus away, and in such a big
way, that I missed one of the greatest and most precious moments in my life. By the time I had some balance back in me,
Christian Louboutin was surrounded by many people. Still I was the only one that took a picture of him, but still I have the
regret of having missed a very important moment. Many people are destabilizers. Their presence and their words bring confusion
and anger. Maybe we have all brought confusion and anger to others at some point in our lives, but some people just do it
all the time. The real problem is not what those people do. The problem is the way that we choose to react to them, when we
allow them to destabilize us, anger us and detract us from our path. If I could turn back time, I would have never held the
discussion with the attorneys in the morning prior to meeting one of my life heroes. If I needed to, because the world was
about to collapse, which was not, I would have not let it anger me, because it was going to bring instability to my thoughts
and actions. Next time you are on the train, airplane, ferry or subway, look at those ones around you. How many of them are thinking
about the problems at home, or the day ahead, that you can see the stress in their faces? What type of workers will they
be during the day when so early in the morning, they are already so grumpy? How many of their bright ideas will
go unheard because their mind is confused and disorganised, and they will not be able to express what they think and what
they want? What type of parents will they be at night when they bring home not only the stress of the morning but all the frustration
of what they could not accomplish during the day, because they were so stressed in the first place to accomplish anything
good? Anger is a vampire that sucks our energy. Even when we are able to vent it, it leaves a terrible residue that stores
in our body as stress. Stress paralyses us, it makes us miss our life, it damages our plans, it prevents us from acting the
part that we so carefully rehearsed. I have the picture that I took of Christian Louboutin in my office, to remind me not to
get angry, to serve me as a reminder that nobody has the power to irritate me, unless I allow it to happen. And above all, heaven does answer our orisons, it is just that
sometimes we are not prepared for them, and we miss them all together. . 5 Steps to
becoming a Better Female Entrepreneur. by Maria Carolina Cruz As
more women in the world leave the corporate world to create our own enterprises, it is important that we face this challenge
not only with courage but skill. This is a compilation of skills that I believe are necessary before hitting the entrepreneurial
road. 1. Know
your numbers. I recently attended a Tax course in
London. The course was designed to cover in detail the Value Added Tax in the UK and the EU. 90% of the attendants were
women. In the UK more women than men choose the entrepreneurial route. It is very important for any Company or Business to
get the tax right. The course rapidly moved on from the theoretical part into the practical application of the concepts. The
assignment was simple; calculate the amount of taxes owed to the government from a very simple transaction. Can you guess
what happened next? I would say that 90% of the women in the group looked at each other completely puzzled. "Did you
say... calculate?... with a calculator?... how do I do that?..." Then the instructor looked at all of us and said: "Don't
panic Ladies! It is not as difficult as it seems!" Don't
panic... Ladies? What is going on? I thought to myself. How can you be a woman running a business if you
don't have the slightest clue on how to calculate a simple percentage? If you are totally not capable of performing such a
simple transaction, I think it is important that you immediately stop whatever is not essential in your business and take
a math's course because not knowing your numbers will ruin your business. Not only will you always have to rely on accountants
for even the simplest things, but if you run into a dishonest partner, you will lose total control of your Company or Business
before you even have the chance to figure it out. 2. Don't forget: Enterprise,
not Pulverize. Last week I read an article that has
astonished many men and women around the world. It was a story about a very famous female entrepreneur in England, who was
taken to court by her former employees because she subjected each one of them not only to tyrannical but illegal management.
The saddest thing in the story is that the female entrepreneur in question was the head of a Company specialized in Human
Resources Services, in other words, she sold to very large firms, her expertise on how to treat people adequately at the workplace.
In the meantime, she subjected her own employees to slavery and appalling management. She even received the price of Business
Woman of the Year in 2009! I have never recalled some
of the most successful male entrepreneurs involved in such a scandal. You will never hear something like that about Sir. Richard
Brandson. Then why is it that it has to be a woman who exhibits such a terrible behavior and sets such a low standard in Management?
We, as women, have campaigned for centuries about our right to have the same opportunities of men and be equally successful
at the workplace. So, if you are becoming the next role model to other women and to Society, your role is to create
enterprise, not to pulverize those around you. It is true that as we learn we will make management mistakes, but tyranny
and cruelty are not acceptable. If you feel the only way for you to move on with your Company or Business is to expect slavery
from your employees, it is not a bad idea that you stop your work right now and educate yourself in the art of management.
You may not yet make it into Harvard Business School, but nothing prevents you from reading the Harvard Business Review or
at least from getting into Google and searching: "How to be a better boss." 3.
Get Fit On the first days of my Career in the Oil
Industry, I met one of the greatest world leaders in the Energy Sector. He was an incredibly talented man who gave a speech
about his secret to success. He ultimately attributed his success to two aspects of his life: His wife and his fitness.
Without his wife, he would have never been able to progress in the way that he did, he moved frequently in assignments around
the world, and his wife made sure that during each transition, she was there for the kids and their home, since he was always
extremely busy. He was also a very fit person. He
said that during his career, he met more talented men than him; people that he thought would advance their careers a lot further
than his. Many of those men, however, died young to heart attacks, others had a bright brain but a body that could not respond
to the daily demands of their jobs, while others became so intoxicated from the stress, excess of food and drinking and a
sedentary life, that all they wished was to retire so their bodies could finally have a break. He instead was fit, he looked
at least 20 years younger than his real age and his energy was infinite. That is why he could leave all those men behind and
get the big job he thought he would never get. For women, the demands are higher. If you have a spouse or a partner, and he has his own job, then you both rely on each other
to take care of the kids and to run a home. So you are working a lot harder than the working man who relies on his wife at
home to handle the kids and the household. You must get fit if you wish to live to see and enjoy the growth and flourishing
of your business. It would be sad that a weak body is unable to drive the ideas of your very bright brain. 4. Nourish your mind. It is a funny story, and I don't think the person by my side questioned my inteligence, but years ago, on a flight
from Amsterdam to Boston, I happened to sit by a member of the board of Unilever. They produce everything from toothpaste,
ice cream, perfumes, the list is enormous. We started talking about my job, then he talked about his job, and then he asked
me: "do you know anything about Unilever?" My answer was, "of course I do!" Then he asked, "Tell
me two products that we produce." I jumped immediately to an answer: "Colgate and Häagen Dazs."
Politely and graciously he replied, "well, you certainly have mentioned two of our greatest competitors!" It was funny; Colgate and Häagen Dazs were competitors of
Closeup and Ben & Jerry's, two of the most important Unilever products. The point of this example is that, as a
business woman you will get to meet many different people with different jobs, cultures, aspirations, backgrounds and points
of view. Part of establishing business relationships is developing an empathy with your potential clients. The member of the
board from Unilever, for instance, was smart to educate me, after my wrong answer, about all the products of Unilever with
their history and importance to the market. To this day, if I have to choose between Ben & Jerry's and other ice cream
manufacturer, I will choose Unilever's because it reminds me of that very intelligent man. It is a good idea to educate yourself
in different topics. I admire a woman that knows who
Christian Louboutin is but who won't faint at the mention of Augustus or Napoleon. We cannot be expected to be
an encyclopedia, but it would be highly demoralizing for anybody that talks to you about Admiral Lord Nelson and his Navy
or about the latest Aston Martin, and your reply is that "War and Cars are for the boys" and then you flash your
eyes and go on talking about the "two for one" promotion at Walmart. 5.
Be a woman. What is the point of being a woman if
you are going to behave like a man? What was the point of having campaigned for years about the equality of men and women
in the workplace, and then the first chance you have to exercise your equality, you adopt the behavior of a man? What was
the point of having left your job in a large and reputable corporation because you felt you were never going to progress as
a woman, and now that you have your own Company and the future in your own hands, you choose to reinvent yourself as a man? Men are wonderful as they are. I personally do not imagine my husband
going to work with a pink pinstripe suit with red flashy shoes or embellishing his face with lipstick every time he needs
to do business with a woman. I believe for the same reason that we should not choose to cut our hair as a man, talk like a
man and dress like a man every time we are going to do business with a man. Women, we are also wonderful as we are. The principle
of equality is that we are able to tackle the same opportunities with our own identity. In the past, you could have
argued that you worked in a huge corporation and the culture of your organization drove the common behavior of women that
behave like men. However, now you have created your own place of work, your own standards and your own culture. This is one
of the perks of being an entrepreneur, the freedom to model your work environment to your own standards. Why would you like
to give up this privilege? . Gold Resists the Entropic Laws of Decay.
By Maria
Carolina Cruz On a previous article, I wrote about envy and about how greater minds are feared by
lesser minds. How your greatness reminds others of what they could not accomplish and about how scared they feel to see you
living your dreams, while they sit in a corner dreaming their life. In this article, I would like to talk about Gold. Have you ever wondered why Gold is so
valuable? In times of crisis, people buy and sell gold. Look at the streets, at the TV and Newspapers. Businesses that buy
your ´old or unwanted gold´ are booming .Every civilization on earth has used Gold in one significant way or the
other. Look at the ancient cultures in Latin America where corn was used as the currency but Gold was offered to the Gods
because it reminded them of the Sun. The Spaniards associated Gold with wealth and even today, we stick to that association.
If you find a sunken
treasure, gold will be intact. If you find an ancient burial site in Egypt or Colombia, gold will still remain intact. Gold
resists the entropic laws of Decay. The definition of entropy is ´the degradation of matter and energy to an ultimate
estate of inert uniformity.´ What this means is that Gold resists the degradation of its matter, Gold does not decay.
This is why Gold is so valuable. So as much as I would love to write a Science article, my point this time is to relate the properties of Gold to
the qualities of your mind and your legacy to the world. Great minds are like Gold. They don't decay. Great minds survive
centuries and are studied and admired by many future generations. The work of Great minds is like Gold, it is resistant to
the passing of time. Look
at the teachings of Socrates thousands of years ago. Even today, the dialogues between Socrates and Plato, teach us the core
fundamentals of Politics. Listen to the music of Vivaldi, still beautiful, still genius. Watch the paintings of Titian, you
can argue if the contemporary art has produced someone as influential as him. There is not a Golden mind in any field that
has not endured the test of time. We were born with unique talents. The apostle Paul said ´we have different Gifts, according to the grace given
us.´ Why not use that special talent bestowed upon us and use our great mind to turn that talent into Gold. It is no
different than turning Lead into Gold. We are powerful alchemists capable of transforming ourselves into great masters. As you read this, stop for a moment
and ask yourself: do I know what my Gift is? If you don't know the answer to this question, right now, right this minute, look around you, because
the answer is staring right at you. I asked myself the same question many years ago. I sat in my living room at home,
and I asked myself: what is my Gift? What is it that I love the most in this world? What is it that I want to dedicate my
life to? All that I could see around me was my huge collection of books. I loved books, there were books everywhere, big books,
antique books, luxury books, paperback novels, books with jackets, books in Spanish, books in Arabic, books in English, second
hand books, even my own home made books. Books, books and books. But it could not be! I worked in the Oil Industry. My Gift
had to be in the Oil Industry, after all I spent already a third of my life becoming a Petroleum Engineer and then working
as one. My Gift had to be there, so I thought. When I finally realized my Gift years later, I chose to dedicate my life to books. I am now the owner
of a Book Publishing Company, and I am a writer. I spend my life reading, writing and making books. There is nothing in the
world that makes me happier. My books are my masterpiece and my legacy. Books are my Gift, and if I am going to leave a legacy
to the world and survive the pass of time, it is going to be through my books. If you read this at home, look around you, look without judging, just look. Your Gift
is reflected in your home. You know your Gift, it stares at you every day. It can be anything, just become conscious of it,
because unconsciously you must have already brought it into your life. I am not joking if I say that if still you don't know
what your Gift is and your friends make fun of your thousand pair of shoes' collection, it may be that your real love is for
shoes. So maybe it is time to start designing your own brand. You may become the competition to Mr. Christian Louboutin. Gold survives the entropic laws of decay.
So does your greatness. All it takes is to look around and find your Gift. Time will reveal it to you anyway, but why wait
until you near the end to figure it out? Use your Gift to become great. You are Gold, you only have to remember it. . Great Minds are Always Feared by Lesser Minds. By Maria Carolina Cruz The choice is ours: we can spend a weekend
watching Prison Break, or we can spend the same time reading the great Dialogues of Plato. There are many choices that can
be made; sleep late or get fit in the park, eat a brownie or an apple, drink a martini or a glass of water, go on holiday
to the beach or travel to a country in need to volunteer your services, buy a new Porsche or invest the money on a new business.
Life is full of choices; none of them are right or wrong. The only wrong thing, however, is to allow the green eyed monster
inside of us, to feel envy of those who had made choices different than ours. What is even worst is to turn that envy into
gossip, wanting to damage those who chose differently than us. I used to work in a big corporation. On one occasion, I had a female subordinate who
made my life hell. She was on a secretarial position, and as most of the women on my workplace were secretaries, she knew
them all. I was her team leader, half her age and a hundred times her education. I was not perfect but I was kind and fair
to her. She was accustomed to be told what to do by men, not by another woman. It was a very difficult experience. She used
aspects of my private life to gossip about me and use them to damage my reputation at work, as if wanting to bring me down
with her, to damage me, to show everyone that I was just another average human being like she was. I used to go home and cry for hours. It was exhausting
to deal with her. I spent hours reading the Harvard Business Review on how to deal with difficult subordinates, and I explored
everything there was about female interaction in the workplace. Until one day, it was a friend of mine who explained
to me the reason for the behavior of that woman. She told me: first of all, you are half her age. When she was your age, she was on the exact same
position that she is today. Years later, she is stuck in the same place, and you remind her every day of the life that she
will never have. Second, you are a challenge to her paradigms. She believes that Latin American women are the waitresses
in the restaurants of her continent and the maids at home. You have come to destroy her paradigm, because not only you
are not her maid, but you are her boss. Third, you wear emeralds to work every day! You come from Colombia! Of course you
wear emeralds to work. For her, on the contrary, emeralds are precious stones that she will never afford to buy, ever. Finally,
you dare to live, hence you are meant to make mistakes. She has never taken a chance in her life, and most likely she has
not made any big mistakes either. You have, and you have made big mistakes as well. She envies how lively you are, and
she will use your mistakes to try to bring you down. Easy! I did not need the HBR to teach me that. It is sadly a fact of life. Envy is
a feeling that has the power to push us to excel, yet that motivates people to damage other people. Envy is not exclusive to women. It is everywhere. It does
not recognise a gender, nationality or religion. It is there to damage, to destroy. If you are experiencing the envy of others, here are some things
that you can do to analyse and improve the situation: 1. What is it that you are envied about? Whatever it is,
nurture it more, do not try to conceal it or hide it or stop having it. Nurture it, improve it. 2. Approach whoever
envies you and help him to obtain that, which he envies you about. If your colleague Patrick is envious of your perfect presentations
at work, next time he has to stand in front of a crowd, offer your help, and help Patrick to excel at his work. This is a
very powerful tool at work. When you offer your help, and teach that person to shine like you do, you have to be dealing with
a very miserable human being for him to keep gossiping about you. Most of the times, he will just shut up out of dignity. 3.
Never, ever, allow those who envy you to bring you down. It is tempting, believe me. When you walk in a corridor and people
look at you and disapprove of you, your instinct to fit, to be part of a group, may lead you to try to fit the mould. However,
if you fit the mould you are no longer special. You will be accepted, you will be liked. Those who gossiped about you will
still gossip, trust me. So you have not accomplished anything, only the approval of those who keep talking about you when
you are gone. 4.
Great minds are always feared by lesser minds. Your greatness reminds others of what they could not accomplish. It scares
people to have great people around. It is a scary feeling to be left behind. It is very scary to see someone living her dreams
while you sit in a corner dreaming your life. So keep moving forward and pay less attention to the lesser minds and more attention to the greater minds. Learn
from both, there are powerful lessons about human behavior and human nature in every person we deal with. Do not, however,
dwell too much with those who´ve chosen to envy you and criticise you, after all, very soon, you will leave them behind. Witnessing the Rapid
Change of a Species. by Maria Carolina Cruz Recently, while waiting on an airport lounge for my very delayed flight, I read on a psychology/fashion/beauty magazine
an article about the way that men think. The article revealed the conclusions of a study conducted in the Netherlands about
the effect that women have on the ability of men to think properly. The conclusions of the study were that in the presence
of a female, a man will lose a significant part of his ability to reason adequately, even reaching the point of memory loss.
The more physically attractive the woman is, the more the man’s brain will struggle to perform effectively. In
business, this means that if a man is having a business discussion with another man his brain will be properly engaged. If
the same discussion, however, were to take place with a woman, the ability of the man to carry on with the same discussion
will be seriously challenged. The study reveals that the reason for this behavior has to do with the unconscious and primitive
constant search by men of mating opportunities. The female presence excites this instinctive behavior on the man. For
us women, things are differently. Only a moment earlier glancing through some other magazines, I came across the double page
picture of Tom Ford advertising his latest fragrance. I know without a doubt that if Tom Ford were to be sitting before me,
I surely would not be distracted by his incredible beauty, and I surely would be able to completely engage in a discussion
with a beautiful and iconic man. In other words, the beauty of a man would not affect my ability to interact with him and
certainly would never prevent me from conducting business with him. So, is a male primitive instinct responsible
for the huge imbalance that women are subjected to in the workplace? Coincidentally enough, the study was carried
out in the Netherlands, a Country where I worked and lived and where I recall the majority of the men asking me the eternal
question of “why is an attractive woman like you, with such a dark and long hair, working in our office?” It seems
to me that the question was not only sexist and completely inadequate but also reflected their total incapacity to converse
intelligently with a woman. It explained also why many women in the workplace abandoned their natural womanliness choosing
to look and behave like a man in order to be listened and taken into account. What is the solution to this terrible dilemma? It
occurs to me that there are “evolved” men out there with new developed instincts, capable to recognize that the
survival of the species has to do more with collaboration with the female species rather than the consumption of the female
species. It also occurs to me that nature is rapidly creating a selection of “female hunters” responsible for
empowering the female species, so we emancipate ourselves from the concept that we are the prey. Releasing our mind from this
idea will help us understand that men have used their “male mating instinct” excuse in order to ignore our abilities
and intelligence. By choosing not to be the prey, we are also able to once and for all shatter a terrible idea that has limited
us from the days we lived trapped and isolated in dark caves. We are witnessing the rapid change o a species. Women
gatherers becoming women hunters; women who are reclaiming the power that men claimed entirely too much for themselves. It’s
all about balance and equilibrium of the species. If we don’t let it happen, we may disappear all together trying to
figure out how the instincts that we thought helped us evolve, led us to our ultimate destruction. Oh, and about the
long and dark hair issue. Perhaps most of those men fear in their nightmares the “hair monster” because I still
cannot figure out what does long and dark hair has to do with it. My advice to women would be: instead
of cutting your hair let him get therapy and figure out his nightmares. Frankfurt Book Fair talk by Maria Carolina Cruz: Girly girls who Build Rockets
and Manly Boys who are not Afraid of them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16CuPHzBmqw . How
High are the Stakes? (October 31st) by Maria Carolina Cruz If you are a fan of Madonna, you may agree with me that her album "Confessions on a Dance
Floor" contains some of the most metaphysical messages that you can find in music. If you are not very familiar with
her music on this album, I can advise you to listen to her songs because they are truly motivational. I want to devote this
article to one song in particular: How High. "How high are the stakes? It is Sunday night. You have a 9 to 5 job in the office that you know is
really a 7 to 7. Tomorrow is Monday and you are preparing yourself for a 60 hour job, not counting the commuting time if you
live in a big city like London or NYC. You may love your job, or you may not. If the later is true for you, I know that the
perspective of Monday approaching is cramping your guts. You wish you'd win the lotto so tomorrow you don't have to put yourself
through that feeling again. Something within you tells you that this job, this part of your life, is making you miserable.
You dream of that house with a pool and a huge yard, and you stick to the job because common sense tells you that if you work
hard, you will be able to afford it one day. But you know, you really know, that the 7 to 7 job is not going to cut it.
The hero in you takes over and asks you point blank: How high are the stakes? So
now the hero in you has taken over. The next question is how much fortune can you make? Fortune can mean whatever is important
to you: happiness, cash, time, power, influence... it is your personal meaning of fortune. You have spent many years blaming
your job for your lack of fortune. You work so hard that you come home really tired only to turn on your computer to keep
up with your unanswered emails, you are not happy. You earn so little money for all the effort that you put into your job
that you don't have enough cash to do all the things that you want to do. You are so busy with your 60 hour job that extends
into weekends and holidays that time for you is more valuable than any platinum and diamonds. You have a horrible boss that
apparently thinks you are invisible because you really, your power of decision and your real influence in the outcome is very
limited. The creative side of your brain is starting to take over, and you start asking yourself: if only I was brave enough
to listen to the hero within, how much fortune can I make if I were to choose something better for myself. Of course you have a right side of the brain, so it does not matter what the hero within
tells you or the left side of the brain advises you, you start thinking if it is really worth it. Will it get any better?
Perhaps you leave your job, by choice, only to find yourself without your safety cushion. The salary is gone, the pension
money is not growing any longer plus you know that the investment ahead is so big, that it will take time to break even if
you manage to break even. It is really scary. You know if you make it, it will be a lot better. You will start living life
under your own terms, pretty much your way. You start relating to Sinatra's song "My Way". You play it for inspiration.
You know, you really know it is going to get better. Fear, however, will tell you only that the odds are against you. Fear
will show you only the obstacles, not the possibilities. You look for a simple answer to your question: does this get any
better? As you debate with yourself about the possibilities, you think about
that special person in your life that makes it all worth it; a child, a spouse, a sibling, a parent, a friend. You start asking
yourself whether carrying on with this heroic plan is going to be the path to your fortune. You ask yourself whether you should
carry on or stay where you are. You have a moment of honesty when your guts are suddenly not cramped any longer. You think
about the available time that you will now be able to spend with your child, you think about your spouse who puts up with
you every day of your life when you come home grumpy after work, you think about those friends that you haven't hanged out
with for a while, you think about who you care for the most, and as you start considering the possibility of carrying on,
your guts are not cramped any longer. You feel good, you are relaxed, you have now felt in your body what it is boiling in
your imagination. You like the feeling but it seems you are still scared. We
all die. I believe our soul doesn't die, but I believe that I don't want to die without leaving a legacy. You go through the
entire process once again, and you wonder if the 7 to 7 job is leaving a legacy. If you love your job, surely something that
you do is fulfilling your life's purpose, and, even if you don't know it, you are leaving something greater than you for humanity.
If you hate it, however, chances are you are not where you are meant to be. You were born with something unique to give, and
you don't want to be gone without having used your special gift. Will it matter when I'm gone?, perhaps it is time to give
it a try. It is not even Monday yet, and you are ready to give it a try.
The stakes are high, there is a huge fortune to make, it will get much better and because of that you are ready to carry on.
You know that when you are gone, what you did will still matter because you will make a difference. So yes, all of this matters.
You have nothing to lose and everything to win. It is Monday morning, you are happy and relaxed. It may be or not a
busy week ahead. You, however, feel that this is the life you crafted for yourself. You are adding the colours and the textures
that you want for your life. No one else is painting on the canvas of your existence. You are the master and you are the painting.
Yes, the stakes were high. . News Article in SABAH newspaper- Turkey An article has been published in the special
book suplement of SABAH news paper in Turkey about two books of Author Maria Carolina Cruz: "The Adventures of Camila
in the Oil World" and "The Adventures of Grobje and the Crew of Pirates". The books have been selected
from a large selection of children's books exhibited at the Frankfurt Book Fair. http://www.planetalice.net/images/Articulo_Comp.jpg
. The Magic is in the Process.
(October 17, 2009) by Maria Carolina Cruz If you find yourself reading this
article, chances are you have been stumbling from one task to the other, with a fixed goal in mind and working hard to reach
your objective. For a moment, sit still and breathe slower. Become conscious of what is happening inside you. Suddenly,
you become aware of your own presence reading this article. Not your autopilot, but the real you. You may start noticing other
experiences, such as hearing the buzz of your computer, or the laughter of a colleague, in the distance, perhaps some children
passing in the street, depending on where you are, you will even hear the birds and the sound of the trees moving with the
wind. Those are sounds you heard many times before, but now you become aware, you are listening to them. . The Innocence of Age. (October 11, 2009) by Maria Carolina Cruz I wonder if experience comes with age, or with certain exposure to
a certain subject. Let me give you an example: you are 60 years old, and you worked all your life in the same office
doing the same job, let's say handling the contracts of your division. People around you will call you very experienced at
what you do. Then a new 32 year old employee arrives at your office, and she has worked in at least five different countries
handing very different types of contracts in very different types of working environments. .
PRESS RELEASE:
Eliminating the Battle of the Sexes. Cruz is a featured speaker at the Frankfurt Book Fair in her conference "Girly
girls who build rockets and manly boys who are not afraid of them". This is a conference to encouraege self empowerment
and equality. http://www.planetalice.net/Girly_Girls_PR.pdf
. The CPR of Office Dynamics:
Competition, Purpose, Reward. (October 4, 2009) By Maria Carolina Cruz . PRESS RELEASE: Safety is no accident. Inspiring new book by author Maria Carolina Cruz
explores the power within us all to preserve life by investing in Safety. http://www.planetalice.net/Grobje_PR.pdf
. Why you shouldn’t let your Boss take Control of your Career. (September 20, 2009) by Maria Carolina
Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1089736?articleid=1089736 . PRESS RELEASE: Inspiring
Book Empowers Girls and Women to Pursue Even the Most Male-Dominated Careers without Giving up Their Uniqueness. Author Maria Carolina Cruz writes from first hand
experience, having worked all her life in the oil industry and in countries where women aspirations tend to be severely limited. http://www.planetalice.net/The%20adventures%20of%20Camila%20PR.pdf . You Need a Mentor, Not Your Mentor’s
Tick in the Box. (September 12, 2009) By Maria Carolina Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1070132?articleid=1070132
. . I trade you my $999 Louboutins for
your $9.99 glitter slippers! -Desperate measures from desperate women. (Aug 22, 2009) by
Maria Carolina Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1032469?articleid=1032469 . . A
girly-bird trying to make it in a male-bird world. (August 16, 2009) by Maria
Carolina Cruz http://www.amazines.com/article_detail.cfm/1023619?articleid=1023619
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You can follow my articles at: www.freearticledirectory.co.uk I look forward to your
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